Movie Monday: American Ultra (Spoilers)

American Ultra is a new action-comedy starring Jesse Eisenberg and Kristen Stewart as a stoner couple. Life is normal until a government douchebag sends some agent douchebags to kill the stoner causing him to discover that he was actually a government experiment all this time capable of killing people with household items. I think I've seen this somewhere before. Anyway, let's take a trip to American Ultra!

Crash Bandicoot 2: Cortex Strikes Back

Here's something I haven't touched in a while, Crash Bandicoot. The first game was the second review I ever did. Can't believe it's been four years since I came back to this series. Crash Bandicoot 2: Cortex Strikes Back was released in 1997, only one year after the original, and picks up right where the last one left off.

This time around instead of rescuing a damsel in distress, you're collecting 25 Slave Crystals on Earth for Dr. N. Cortex who is pretending to be using them to save the world. In reality, he's just using Crash to achieve his own ends. Give the guy some credit, using your own worst enemy to your advantage like that is pretty clever. Too bad it makes Crash look like an idiot. Cortex isn't exactly the greatest at disguising his intentions. I can still smell the amounts of bullshit long after turning the game off.

Movie Monday: The Man From U.N.C.L.E. (Spoilers)

The Man From U.N.C.L.E. is a British-American action comedy spy film based off the television series that ran from 1964 to 1968 starring Henry Cavill, Armie Hammer, Alicia Vikander, Elizabeth Debicki, and Hugh Grant.

The film takes place in the 1960's during the Cold War bringing together a secret agent from America, and Russia, with the assistance of a daughter of a Nazi scientist, to stop a nuclear bomb being made by a team led by a wealthy couple in Rome.

Battletoads & Double Dragon

Battletoads & Double Dragon is a side-scroll beat 'em up developed by Rare that came out for the NES, Genesis, SNES, and Game Boy in 1993. For the first, and only time, we get to see two of the hardest beat 'em up games out there combine into one kick-ass adventure! For use of this review we're going to be looking at the Genesis version because it was my childhood and the SNES version sucks! You heard me.

The title screen gives us our selection of one and two players. Two players is separated by mode A and B which basically means do you want friendly fire on or off? I don't know why anyone would want to play Mode A. One of you would have to stand back during all the boss fights or you'd just hit each other. There's no advantage to it. Once you decided on a mode you can start your game.

Movie Monday: Fantastic Four (Spoilers)

Fade in: House Party

Ayen: Throws up on his shoes

Ralph: You need to learn to hold down your liquor, dude.

Ayen: I'm okay. I'm okay. I'm going to be o– Throws up again

Zira: Gulps down a keg

Elliot/Jason: Chug! Chug! Chug! Chug! Chug! Chug! Chug! Chug!

Zira: Finishes and raises arms in victory

Elliot/Jason: Celebrates with her

Ayen: Guys, guys! I have a great idea! We should use that highly advanced transporter we've been working so hard on and be the first to go to a different dimension!

The others look at Ayen blankly.

Ralph: Ayen, you're drunk.

Ayen: No, no, guys. It's a great idea. We can go and be back before they even know we're gone, even though they have hundreds of people monitoring the machine in all hours of the days and night.

The Others: … Okay!

Ten Minutes Later

Super Mario Sunshine (Spoilers)

Super Mario Sunshine is an action-adventure, platformer for the Nintendo GameCube that originally came out in 2002, featuring none other than the infamous Italian plumber himself, Mario. Mario, Princess Peach, Toadsworth, and some Toads from her kingdom are visiting Isle Delfino for a much needed vacation. What, Luigi wasn't invited? He saves your ass in the last game and that doesn't earn him a vacation!?

Unfortunately, when they arrive the entire island is covered in graffiti (I personally blame the rap music) that is caused by an impostor Mario. Mario is tasked with the responsibility of cleaning up the entire island even though they just got there and Mario has a plane full of witnesses to account for his whereabouts at the time of the incident. The Isle Delfino court system is bullshit!

Movie Monday: Mission Impossible -- Rogue Nation (Spoilers)

 

Spoony: Rises up out of the grass with a pair of binoculars

Nostalgia Critic: Spoony, what's your status?

Spoony: Is looking at a plane with cargo inside Uhh, the movie has boarded the plane.

Nostalgia Critic: What?! You were supposed to keep the movie OFF the plane! That was the whole point!

Spoony: Well, we're going to Plan B. More like Plan F. We're really not good at our jobs.

Nostalgia Critic: Where's Ayen?

Spoony: I don't know.

Nostalgia Critic: You don't know?!

Spoony: Will you stop yelling in my ear?

Nostalgia Critic: YELLING IS ALL I KNOW HOW TO DO!

Linkara: Don't worry, Critic, we'll get those movies off that plane!

Nostalgia Critic: Linkara? What are you doing there? You're supposed to be in Chicago.

Linkara: I am in Chicago, but I finished early and Spoony needed my help.

Spoony: I didn't need help, I needed assistance. It's not the same thing.

Nostalgia Critic/Linkara: Yes it is!

Linkara: Sending the layout of the plane now!

Spoony: Got it!

Nostalgia Critic: The movie's still on the plane.

Spoony: Yes, we know, the movie is still on the plane!

Nostalgia Critic: No, you don't understand. If that plane takes off Transformers 5 WILL premiere in movie theaters all across the globe! I don't know if the world can survive another one. Can you kill the engine?

Spoony: No.

Nostalgia Critic: Electrical?

Spoony: No.

Ayen: Can you open the door?

Nostalgia Critic: Ayen? Where are you?

Ayen: I'm outside of the plane. Spoony, can you open the door?

Spoony: Yeah, that seems doable.

Ayen: I'm going in.

BattleTanx Global Assault

Yeah, BattleTanx! This game was the shit for me and my friends back in the day. Four player action!

Long time readers will remember the time I reviewed the original BattleTanx back in 2012. It was the first N64 review I ever did when I mostly looked at PlayStation 1 games. To my surprise, BattleTanx is somewhat of a obscure game, so I thought it was long overdue that I shed some more light on the kickass sequel!

Movie Monday: Pixels (Spoilers)

Ayen: Steps out of his house to get the mail and stops in a large shadow on the ground. He looks up to see none other than...

The Little Mermaid

The Little Mermaid. As a kid I loved this movie. It was one of my favorite Disney's films of all time, and since then it became my number one favorite from the company. The story is fairly straightforward with wonderful animation that holds up even today and a great soundtrack, but I'm not here to talk about the movie. I'm here to talk about the game.

Movie Monday: Ant-Man (Spoilers)

Hank: Ayen, I've been watching you for a while, now. You're different. And I believe everyone deserves a shot at redemption. Do you?

Ayen: Absolutely! My days of sneaking into movies and reviewing shit are over. What do you need me to do?

Hank: …I want you sneak into a movie and review some shit.

Ayen: ...make sense. This is Ant-Man! And just to be clear I don't sneak into movies my mother pays for the ticket and–

Hank: Your MOTHER pays for your ticket?

Ayen: Yes – No – I mean–!

Hank: Laughs and walks away.

Ayen: Can we do this scene over?

After a change of directors, rewrites, and filming delays, we finally have something tangible to feast our eyes on in theaters. Ant-Man stars Paul Reed, a notorious thief named Scott Lang who gets a second chance at life by becoming the hero known as Ant-Man. By this point you're probably asking yourself:

Scott: Is it too late to change the name?

Yes, yes it is. You will be called Ant-Man and you will like it! Without further ado, let's dive in to the end of Phase II!

Compare & Contrast: Aladdin

Ayen: We have an interesting one for you all today. Why do I say we? Because I'm being joined today by special guest, Maybee, from Eyes on Final Fantasy.

Disney's Aladdin was made by Virgin Games and Capcom for the Sega Genesis and Super Nintendo respectively. These games came out around the same time, but are vastly different to the point of unrecognizably. The question that remains is, which company did the better job? That's what we're here to find out.

Movie Monday: Terminator Genisys (Spoilers)

The Terminator. Who doesn't remember “Hasta la vista,” or “I'll be back!”? Chances are when you think Terminator you think Arnold Schwarzenegger. How can you not? When I first saw the trailer for this thing I got pumped! I couldn't wait to see it.

I was introduced to the series through Terminator 2 and only seen bits and pieces of the first movie. All I remember about Terminator 3 is Arnold, Kristanna Loken, and a teenaged John Connor. The fourth one – let's not talk about the fourth one. And I never watched the TV show. At least Genisys had the common sense to get Arnold back. You can't do Terminator without Arnold. I'm sorry, but you just can't, and a CGI Arnold doesn't count! I rambled on enough, time to put a stop to Judgment Day! Again.

The Lion King

Note: Italics represent action.

Do you like The Lion King? Of course you do, it's one of the greatest animated films of all time. I can still remember seeing it in theaters and having a good time with it. So, naturally, knowing there's a video game of the movie out, what kid wouldn't want to play it? Shouldn't be that bad, right? I mean, it's a kid's game. Stay away. Stay the fuck away. This is one of the hardest games I've ever played, and considering I gone through Dark Souls and Ninja Gaiden, that's saying a lot. Let's pop this son of a bitch in.

Movie Monday: Jurassic World (Spoilers)

Jurassic World, or as I like to call it “the only movie in June worth seeing,” but I suppose Jurassic World is shorter. After fourteen years since the last film they decided, “What the hell? Let's make another one!” And so they did! Before we go any further allow me to briefly go over the other films.

The Lucky Dime Caper starring Donald Duck

Welcome to the second week of Disney's Month! Today we're looking at The Lucky Dime Caper starring the one, the only, Donald Duck! The Lucky Dime Caper is a platformer that came out for the Sega Master System in 1991, and re-released on the Game Gear two years later. I have both copies of the game, but decided to focus on the Master System for this review. I'll look into the Game Gear version another time.

Movie Monday: San Andreas (Spoilers)

Disaster Movies. Because your life is so good you need to feed off the suffering of others while everything goes to hell. San Andreas is one such film starring none other Dwayne Johnson! Be honest, if The Rock wasn't in this movie you wouldn't have bothered going to the show.

San Andreas takes place in LA and San Francisco and follows the family of a rescue pilot, and a group of seismologists as the city prepares to be struck by the biggest earthquake this side of the west coast. Earth just hates California, doesn't it? Get to high ground because these buildings are coming down!

The Magical Quest starring Mickey Mouse

Hello and welcome to ToriJ's Video Game Reviews. Allow me to introduce to you Disney's Month! A time set aside where we look at various video games through the years based on memorable Disney's characters that we all know and love. And what's better way to start than with the mouse that started it all, Mickey Mouse!

Movie Monday: Uncovered (Spoilers)

Uncovered is a 1994 thriller that originally came out in France in May starring Kate Beckinsale, based off Arturo Pérez-Reverte's novel The Flanders Panel. The lead character, Julia, an art restorer in Barcelona, Spain stumbles upon a mystery through a five-hundred year old painting and falls right in the middle of a mystery of her own as everyone she comes in contact with turns up dead. Did she get Fox Die or something? I should probably get it out of the way now that I never read the book, so I'll be looking at the movie based on its own merits.

Compare & Contrast: Batman

Hello and welcome to ToriJ's Video Game Reviews. Over the years superheroes have undergone a lot of retellings and reimaginings. One such example that stands out even today is Tim Burton's 1989 Batman movie starring Michael Keaton and Jack Nicholson taking on a much darker side of the Dark Knight that comic book writer, Frank Miller made popular again.

With the popularity of the movie it only made sense to create a video game tie-in to profit even more off the success of the movie. This gave us video game adaptions on the NES, Sega Genesis, and the Game Boy, but today I'll be doing a Compare & Contrast of the NES and Genesis versions of the game to decide which one is the best. So, hang onto your seats because we're going to Gotham!

Movie Monday: The NeverEnding Story (Spoilers)

The NeverEnding Story is an epic fantasy film made in West Germany based off the novel of the same name written by Michael Ende. It stars Bastian Balthazar Bux (Barret Oliver), a lover of books who is recently dealing with the lost of his mother, and Atreyu (Noah Hathaway), a warrior from the Grassy Plains, that is sent on a quest to find a cure for The Childlike Empress (Tami Stronach), and to save Fantasia from “The Nothing.” A mysterious force destroying the world, but no pressure!

Yggdra Union

Hello and welcome to ToriJ's Video Game Reviews. Yggdra Union: We'll Never Fight Alone is a tactical role-playing game by Atlus that was originally published on the Game Boy Advance, and then later ported to the PSP. The game stars Princess Yggdra who assembles a Royal Army to battle the evil Bronquian Empire.

Final Fantasy V (Spoilers)

Hello and welcome to ToriJ's Video Game Reviews. As many of you know there have been a lot of Final Fantasy releases over the years. A lot. Originally, this was because there were a lot of FF games that hadn't yet been release outside of Japan. Among them was Final Fantasy V which was packaged with VI in Final Fantasy Anthology for the Sony Playstation.

Phoenix Wright: Ace Attorney – Justice for All (Spoilers)

Hello and welcome to ToriJ's Video Game Reviews. Two years ago I reviewed the first installment of the series “Phoenix Wright: Ace Attorney.” Hard to believe it's been two years since I played a Phoenix Wright game.

Believe it or not, Phoenix Wright was the sole reason I bought a Nintendo DS. After being introduced to it through a YouTube Let's Play, though I remember seeing something about it in Nintendo Power and wanting it then, I just had to have it. So, I went out, bought a DS, and then got the first game and it was worth every penny.

I plan to continue my journey with Phoenix Wright, but I'm not alone. Today I have a very special guest. A fellow critic who specializes in Visual Novels: Karifean!

Left 4 Dead

Two weeks have passed since the infection spread across the city of Pennsylvania. Green Flu, they called it. A highly contagious virus that caused aggression, mutation, and loss of higher brain functions. There were only four of us now. Bill, Louis, Francis, and myself. For whatever reason we were immune to the virus.

I wasn't in any position to ask why. Only thankful that I didn't have to worry about becoming one of those things. I heard it said all the time that, “There are some things worse than death.” I didn't believe it until I saw the infected running through the city with nothing to guide them, nothing but their rage.

Rogue Friday: Controllers

Controllers. They come in many different shapes, and sizes, and more buttons than you can shake a stick at, but they weren't always so complicated. There was a time where they were so simple you had to be brain dead not to understand them.

Of course, the more technology grew, the more complicated games became to play, the more complicated the controllers became to use. Today, I'm going to go through the controls I had the pleasure of using.

Srs Bsns: Changing the Formula

For as long as games have existed, developers have experimented with different formulas to determine what works and what doesn't, and when a formula has outlasted its welcome they move onto something new to shake things up. But how do you decide when a formula is no long working and what to change it to?

Almost immediately the first thing to enter a person's mind when I bring this up is Call of Duty. Ever since the fourth game Call of Duty has been more or less the same game with few changes and it wasn't until even the fanbase was getting tired of it that they finally decided to shake things up. This gave us such titles like Call of Duty Ghosts and Advanced Warfare. In this instance I think most people would agree it was time for a chance, but what happens when there is no public outcry?

The Wolf Among Us (Spoilers)

Hello and welcome to ToriJ's Video Game Reviews. Today we'll be looking at another popular game by Telltale based on the Fables comic books created by Bill Willingham: The Wolf Among Us!

You play as Bigby, formerly known as the Big Bad Wolf, who has been appointed sheriff of Fabletown where all the fables have come to start a new life for themselves.

Bigby comes across a murder of one of the fables and begins an investigation that gets crazier, and crazier with each new episode. If it's anything like Phoenix Wright's cases I'm going to need a drink.

Top Ten RPGs

RPGs! They've been around in one form or another for a very long time. Not just in the video games medium, but board games, live action, and in the bedroom.

But we're not here to talk about all of that. We're here to count down the best of the best in the genre! So, without further ado let's begin!

A Child's First Handheld

If you've been following 'A Child's First' for the past couple of weeks you probably started to notice a pattern. I had a lot of Nintendo growing up.

Nintendo was a big part of a lot of gamers lives from the NES and onward and dominated the handheld scene from the start.

Nintendo is like the Disney of video games. We all loved them as a kid and harp on them as we get older. I wonder if that would make the Wii U the Disney's channel?

Rogue Friday: Platformers

Platformers, oh how I adore you. From the 2D side-scrolling of the past, to full revolutionary 3D that came about in the 1990s there are so many classics that came about because of this genre, and I'm going to take this time to honor the ones I had the pleasure of playing growing up.

Srs Bsns: Supply and Demand

You know how when you get a new computer and it's pitched to you like this new revolutionary technology that's going to change your life forever and makes everything easier and then it breaks down and gives you a million and one problems? Games are kind of the same way. Imagine paying sixty bucks for a game bringing it home all excited to play it, and then it's buggy as all shit. There's lag, it's glitchy, and maybe even the damn thing is freezing on you. You just paid sixty bucks for this thing! It's brand new and it's not working properly! What the hell is going on!?

Xenogears

Hello and welcome to ToriJ's Video Game Reviews. We're into the second week of May and this time I'll be playing another well known title of Squaresoft back when they knew how to make video games. I'm not bitter.

Xenogears! The game stars Fei, a villager of Lahan suffering from amnesia. Yeah, I know, if you've played enough JRPGs in the past you've heard this story a million times. Bear with it, it's worth it. Everything is right as rain until mechs (called gears) attack the village and Fei is forced to leave Lahan behind to begin a new adventure.

Top Ten Racing Games

In honor of Rush 2 I decided to dedicate this time to discussing more about the genre. Today I'll be counting down the Top Ten Racing Games of all time! Or more accurately the Top Ten Racing Games out of all the ones I've played, but that doesn't get nearly as many hits, does it? So, buckle up and get ready for a wild ride!

A Child's First Console

You can rent, you can borrow, you can even steal (I'd advise against it), but nothing beats having something that is truly yours. Something where you decide when to use it, how to use it, and when to loan it out. Something you earned with your own hard earned money, or your mother bought it for you as a gift, whatever works, and something that will always be yours in one way or another. I am here today to talk about A Child's First Console.

Rogue Friday: Sega Genesis

The Sega Genesis. Throughout the late eighties to mid nineteen nineties, Sega and Nintendo competed neck to neck with each other in the first ever console wars. Children's playgrounds everywhere had children arguing over which was the superior console. To 16 bits graphics and blast processing. From Mario to Sonic. Exclusive after exclusive. When a game was ported to both systems there was a noticeable difference in quality. Never before have two game companies been so close to each other in sales with world wide popularity, with Nintendo just barely coming out on top.

Srs Bsns: Women Representations in Games

For as long as I can remember it seemed you really had to go out of your way to find positive, or even just passable representations of women in gaming. The average person who thinks about good women characters in video games will think Lara Croft, Samus Aran, Jill Valentine, etc. You want anymore than that then you need to know where to look, and even then some of these inclusions has only happened in the last couple of years.

Rush 2 Extreme Racing USA

Hello and welcome to ToriJ's Video Game Reviews. Last December I played San Francisco Rush Extreme Racing and it was one of the best racing games I've ever played for the Nintendo 64, so naturally I tracked down the sequels of the game with the intent to review every single one of them, and this time we take a look at the second entry of the franchise: Rush 2 Extreme Racing USA!

Top Ten Final Fantasy Games

I don't think it's any secret by now that I love Final Fantasy. It was my introduction to the RPG genre and remains one of my favorite series of all time. I've reviewed several games from the franchise, and I plan to review a lot more as soon as I can get around to it, but in the meantime I want to focus on ten entries in the franchise that have stood out to me through the years and might have stood out to you, too. Prepare for an adventure as we embark on the one Top Ten list where nobody is going to come out satisfied.

A Child's First Game

Who doesn't remember the feeling they had when they opened up their games to play for the first time? It's an incredible feeling isn't it? One mixed with excitement and anticipation, soon followed by frustration and agony as the game got harder, and harder, and harder until we threw the controller across the room! Or maybe that's just me. While we can all remember what these first times are like, how many here can remember the very first time they ever played a game? Some of you can probably only go back so far, and others might be able to remember what they had for breakfast that morning. Everyone's memory is different as well as their experiences and here today I'm going to share one with you all: a child's introduction to gaming.

Metal Gear (Spoilers)

Hello and welcome to ToriJ's Video Game Reviews. Today we're going back to 1987 to see how another long-time running series got its start. The very first Metal Gear by Konami. Metal Gear was originally developed on the MSX2 computer and later ported to other systems, but we don't talk about the NES version. It stars Solid Snake as he infiltrates Outer Heaven to save FOXHOUND member Gray Fox, and destroy the ultimate weapon, Metal Gear.

Street Fighter Movie (Spoilers)

Hello and welcome to ToriJ's Video Game Reviews. Last February I reviewed Street Fighter II for Fightbruary, but before that I vowed to review the movie adaptions of the games I played whenever I got around to actually playing them, leading me to the 1994 film directed by Steven E. de Souza

Final Fantasy (Spoilers)

Hello and welcome to ToriJ's Video Game Reviews. Today we take a look at a game that started both a popular long-running series, and shaped the RPG genre for generations: Final Fantasy! I reviewed some of the other number entries but never took a look at the original. So, I thought it was time to change that. I don't think anyone here is going to question the influence this game had over the years. Only one question remains: does it hold up?

The Legend of Zelda

Hello jeung wilujeng sumping ka pidio Game Harita teh ToriJ urang. The Legend of Zelda is an action-adventure game made by Nintendo that takes place in a high fantasy setting. It stars Link, a Hylian tasked with the duty of finding the eight scattered Triforce of Wisdom fragments and rescue Princess Zelda from the evil Ganon who controls the Triforce of Power.

WWF WrestleMania 2000

Ndewo na ịnabata aka ToriJ si Video Game Nyocha. WrestleMania XXXI has come and gone and you know what that means, it's time for the annual wrestling game review and this time we're looking at THQ's WrestleMania 2000!

Silent Hill 3 (Spoilers)

namaskāraṁ ToriJ vīḍiyēā geyiṁ viśakalanaṅṅaḷ svāgataṁ. We've come to the end of Women's Month and there's only one more place left to visit before we move on to April, Silent Hill! This time a teenaged girl named Heather traverse the strange town as she finds herself in the middle of a cult's plot to bring back Paradise. This also marks the first game in the franchise where you play as a female protagonist. Funny how they keep waiting until 3 to do that. Now, I must admit I actually played the HD version on Xbox but since I'm only reviewing one of the games it didn't feel right to use the HD cover. Let's dive right in!

Resident Evil 3 Nemesis (Spoilers)

Üdvözlünk a ToriJ a Video Game vélemények. Hang onto your berets because we're returning to Raccoon City in time for the Outbreak. In “Resident Evil 3: Nemesis” you play exclusively as S.T.A.R.S. member Jill Valentine as she tries to escape a city overran by zombies. Unfortunately for Jill zombies aren't the only thing chasing her. Her biggest threat this time around comes in the form of an eight foot tall tyrant named Nemesis created by Umbrella to hunt down S.T.A.R.S. members. I certainly don't want to be a S.T.A.R.S. member right now, or a Raccoon City citizen, or a Midwestern for that matter.

The Walking Dead Season Two (Spoilers)

sabaidilae nyinditonhab ToriJ khong vidiookem khidhen. Last year in August I reviewed Telltale's The Walking Dead and it was one of the best games I've ever played. So I thought it was only natural that due to all the strong female characters the sequel introduced, that I would dive right in to Season Two.

Beyond Two Souls (Spoilers)

Hello ug welcome sa ToriJ sa Video Game Reviews. In a time where more and more people are making more story driven games we're brought to this piece of hardware, “Beyond Two Souls.” This game came out around the same time as another story heavy game which also featured a female lead who looked similar to Ellen Page. Oops. Let's divulge deeper into the game that served as part of the exclamation point on the PlayStation 3's life.

Tekken

Hej og velkommen til ToriJ videospil anmeldelser. We have reached the end of Fightbruary and I thought I would close this month of fist pounding action with another of Namco's finest, Tekken! Tekken is a 3D fighter that was available in arcades everywhere back in 1995 before being ported to the Sony PlayStation becoming the start of one of the greatest fighting franchises of all time.