BattleTanx Global Assault

Yeah, BattleTanx! This game was the shit for me and my friends back in the day. Four player action!

Long time readers will remember the time I reviewed the original BattleTanx back in 2012. It was the first N64 review I ever did when I mostly looked at PlayStation 1 games. To my surprise, BattleTanx is somewhat of a obscure game, so I thought it was long overdue that I shed some more light on the kickass sequel!

  War. War never changes.

First off, the graphics. Holy fuck balls, can you believe this game only came out a year after the last one? Talk about an overhaul. The graphics are heads over heels better than the previous game, no question there.

Gameplay wise, not much has changed. You still have your regular ammo as well as your power-ups and the four basic color groups. Only thing that's different is that you can turn the top part of the tank by pressing the R button so you can shoot in different directions. The computer was able to do this in the first game, but for some reason you couldn't.

Choose your destiny – Oops! Wrong game.

BattleTanx Global Assault brings back a couple of the game modes from the first game, while introducing new ones and refining old ones. For instance, Annihilation has been replaced with Tank Wars, where you can battle it out with an army for three minutes, so it doesn't matter how many times you get blown up, the match will continue until those three minutes are up.

THEN it matters how many times you got blown up because you just cost your team the match. Feel good about yourself yet?

I love this version over Annihilation because it gives you more time enjoying each stage and blowing up shit. Just pick four opposing forces and go nuts!

Among the new game modes to be introduced in this game are Convoy, Frenzy, and Hold 'Em. Convoy is what the name implies, you can either protect a convoy crossing the map from attackers, or be the one to do the attacking. Needless to say the latter is easier. This is my least favorite of the game modes as it has limited maps, and only two colors to choose from. Games can be over rather quickly, too.

Frenzy and Hold 'Em are like Battlelords. With Frenzy you have to be the first to rescue ten people before your enemies do. Hold 'Em is even more like Battlelords with the bases and everything, only the person you're saving starts off in a neutral zone and has to be returned to the base and protected until time runs out. Since I already said Battlelords three times, that also makes a return in this game alongside Deathmatch (now you have to kill TEN enemies!) and Family Mode. They're all a lot of fun, except when you're losing. Then they're infuriating!

  Wake up, San Francisco!

This time around the maps goes from the US to Europe, namely London, Paris, and Germany. You can even play around the White House, Eiffel Tower, and the Berlin Bridge as a level in the game. One of my all time favorite levels is Paris Crossfire. Great place to have a four-way Battlelord match if you ask me. What really stands out to me with this game after all these years is one simple fact.

  You can blow up the White House.

You can actually destroy the White House in this game. You can't destroy the Eiffel Tower, but you can blow up the White House. Can you imagine if a game tried to do something like this now? People would flip!

The game's timeline takes place in 2006, so... I just killed Bush.

  Give my regards to the devil.

Let's not forget the good old fashioned Campaign mode. Is it as hard as the first one? No. Not even a little bit. I'm not saying you won't get any challenge from it, but like playing The Little Mermaid after The Lion King and Aladdin, it's a breeze compared to its predecessor. Also, since Madison, Griffon's wife who you rescue in the first game, is with you, the Campaign is two- player.

The use of gray on tanks can get confusing at times. You're gray, your allies are gray, and some of the enemies are gray, and before you can spot the symbol letting you know if they're friend or foe, you either attacked your ally or got shot by the enemy.

Campaign combines all the previous modes together to give you an overall enjoyable experiences. You have to rescue people, escort convoy, eliminate enemies, and there are some stages that are original just for the Campaign. Like destroying objects or racing to safety while everyone is trying to kill you.

  Edge?

  No, Edge! Use the power of the Spear for life, not death!

Five years after the events of the first game, Griffon and Madison are living peacefully in San Francisco with their son Brandon when the evil Queenlord, Cassandra, who determines their son has a power simply referred to as “The Edge” and wants to abduct him to harness that power. In fact, she's even responsible for the virus that killed off the majority of the women population so only those with the Edge would survive. Diabolical!

While BattleTanx always felt like it could be a comic book story, Global Assault takes it even further and introduces a lot more Sci-Fi elements into it with Cassandra being able to take over the minds of entire armies, and Brandon more or less being a super child. The Edge is also brought in later as a power up you can only use once per level that causes mass confusion upon any tank you come across giving you a free shot.

Cut-scenes take place in-between each level offering a lot more story this time around to keep you invested. The final stage feels like you already won with the combination of the title screen music and Griffon and Madison getting control of their son back. It's also the most random stage I've ever encountered. The goal is to find Cassandra before she can unleash her evil plan, and when I first played it I won in a couple of seconds by just blowing up random tanks. Second time it took a lot longer. Seems like they put her in any old tank and the level has the potential to end before it even began. Luckily, you can replay it by loading up your game to get the most out of it. Minor inconvenience at best.

  I've been hit!

As much as I enjoy the game, I've played it so much to the point that I get bored with it very easily. I'll come back to it after years, play with it for a bit, and then end up turning the game off. So it's definitely possible to hurt yourself through overexposure, even when it comes to your favorite games.

That being said, it's still a great game with a lot of fun to be had. If you never played it before and don't mind older games, I can't recommend Global Assault enough. Tanks, explosions, the destruction of real life places? What more can you ask for in a game? Pick it up and give it a whirl.

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