Disaster Movies. Because
your life is so good you need to feed off the suffering of others
while everything goes to hell. San Andreas is one such film starring
none other Dwayne Johnson! Be honest, if The Rock wasn't in this
movie you wouldn't have bothered going to the show.
San Andreas takes place in LA and San Francisco and follows the family of a rescue pilot, and a group of
seismologists as the city prepares to be struck by the biggest
earthquake this side of the west coast. Earth just hates California,
doesn't it? Get to high ground because these buildings are coming
down!
I knew I
should have been a chiropractor
like my mother wanted.
Here
we have the star of our show, Ray. Famous rescue pilot with
six-hundred rescues on his resume, loving father and soon to be
ex-husband. We get to see him in action straight away as he and his
team saves a woman whose car falls on the side of a cliff. “Cliff
Hanger! Hanging from a cliff! And that's why he's called Cliff
Hanger!”
If
you've seen... pretty much any
Rock movie then you already have a good idea what the character is
like. Just subtract the testosterone and replace it with loving
family man. I didn't even remember what his name was until I looked
it up, all I saw was Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson. The same thing
is true about Robert Downey Jr. The most successful actors in
Hollywood right now are being paid millions to play themselves! I
want that gig.
Hello, do you currently have life insurance?
Meet
the soon to be ex-wife, Emma, played by Carla
Gugino. She's currently dating Mr. Fantastic. Yeah, the guy from the
first Fantastic Four film is in this movie. More on him later. Her
relationship with Ray took a turn for the worse after their youngest
daughter died and after drifting apart, Emma finally decided to file
for divorce.
She gets some decent
character development and scenes with Ray that shows their
relationship on screen and you feel for them. You even root for her
when she goes Momma Bear on a certain little asshole that shows his
true stripes later. Not really much else to say about her character.
The oldest
daughter that's still alive is named Blake. A generally nice woman going to college who just wants her
parents to stay together whose whole world falls apart. Both
literally and figuratively. For those worried she's just the
honorably damsel in distress in the movie the film does balance it
out by having her actually be useful. She's responsible for keeping
the two males you see in the above picture alive.
She gets
enough screen time for you to get attached to her so when the death
tease comes up later you're sitting there like, “No. No you are
not, movie! You wake her up right now!” But at the same time, you
kind of realize that's what they're going for. And it drags on for so
long. Look, we know she's going to make it out okay, so just get to
the part where she lives.
I'm super
serial!
Lawrence
Hayes is Caltech lead seismologist whose job in the movie is to make
sure you realize how serious everything is. Just listen to this
exchange, and I know I'm paraphrasing but this about sums the scene
up:
Student: Is
there a chance of an earthquake this big happening here?
Hayes:
I don't think it's a matter of
if, but when.
Can
your buildup be more obvious? We all know it's coming!
Aside
from that, the character is fine. He does his job well. I don't know
anything about earthquakes and I know movies like to make up shit,
so the science and everything at least sounds plausible. He has some
good interactions too, like when he loses his partner in the first
earthquake scene. I still think they had time to save him. I know
they'd have to amputate his foot, but that's better than dying. Oh
well, I guess the movie needed to kill off at least one minority.
Please
forget I was in the Fantastic Four!
Here
we have the resident asshole, Daniel Riddick. Daniel is a rich real
estate developer credited for making the strongest building ever.
May as well slap a big sign on it that reads “DESTROY ME!” He
starts out as a decent enough guy before the movie decides it needs
a villain and then he becomes a complete dick. I don't know, it just
comes across as forced.
I
get seeing him as a douche when he just leaves the daughter trapped
in the car, but the things he does after that? I can't say I'd be
any better in a life or death situation. When your life is on the
line, it's easy to throw other people under the bus. That's just
human nature. But eventually he does get his comeuppance and gets
squashed. Literally squashed. A vehicle or something just falls on
him like a cartoon. All that's missing are the sound effects.
What
a beautiful view[/sarcasm]
The
special effects are very nice. They use just enough CGI to enhance
the quality of the movie, and it doesn't overwhelm us. You genuinely
believe what's happening on the screen is happening. We have
buildings cracking, tumbling down, the street ripped apart, a flood
drowning people, and boats trying to ride over the tidal wave.
San
Andreas doesn't try to be anything but a good disaster movie and the
main characters are fleshed out just enough to where you're invested
when the destruction starts to take place. As far as movies go this
is exactly as it's advertised.
“We
can totally make this jump.”
“I
don't know, Earl.”
“We
can totally make it!”
So,
the movie ends with Ray and Emma saving their daughter, getting back
together, and California being a wreck, but the flag rises (I'm
serious they cut to the flag) and the people of California looks to
rebuild. And good luck with that.
San
Andreas. This is a movie you'd want to see on the big screen if you
can. There are a lot of cool special effects and it's the kind of
movie you can see with friends and grab some popcorn while watching
it.
Get
it
No comments:
Post a Comment