Left 4 Dead

Two weeks have passed since the infection spread across the city of Pennsylvania. Green Flu, they called it. A highly contagious virus that caused aggression, mutation, and loss of higher brain functions. There were only four of us now. Bill, Louis, Francis, and myself. For whatever reason we were immune to the virus.

I wasn't in any position to ask why. Only thankful that I didn't have to worry about becoming one of those things. I heard it said all the time that, “There are some things worse than death.” I didn't believe it until I saw the infected running through the city with nothing to guide them, nothing but their rage.

  Bill always did like disgusting things.

Bill noticed something different about a corpse we found and knelt down for further inspection. Said they were changing. Changing into what? The sound of a woman crying took our attention away from the corpse. A survivor? I never thought I'd see another face outside of the group again. Turns out I wouldn't. When Bill and I got closer Bill saw it was another infected and quickly turned off my light. Things would only go from bad to worse when a horde came out of nowhere. Louis came in to warn us only for his flashlight to provoke the Witch and cause her to attack.

We ran and fought our way through the horde. New mutations we've never seen before came at us from every side. Smoker, Boomer, Hunter, and worse of all the Tank. A large monstrosity that if I never saw again as long as I lived it would be too soon. We managed to escape to a rooftop where we learn of an evacuation point by Mercy Hospital from a passing helicopter. Our nightmare was just getting started.

  The hospital is really the last place you want to go during a zombie outbreak, but some things can't be helped.

Truth be told, I can't remember a lot of what happened between the rooftop and the helipad. We restocked on our equipment and took off without a moment's hesitation. All I had was a pistol and a fully automatic rifle. Managed to grab a second pistol later on and felt like Lara Croft. Always did prefer twin pistols, and anything with a scope. Makes taking off heads a hell of a lot easier.

I remember getting hit by a Boomer. Green slime covering my body luring in the horde. I couldn't see a fucking thing! Just shot whenever something got too close. Some times I shot my teammates. Not proud of it. Maybe if they didn't CONSTANTLY get in my way I wouldn't have shot them so damn much! Why am I the only one expected to crouch down when I take point?

  “Get to the choppa!” Sorry, I couldn't resist.

Once we made radio contact with the pilot we had to hold out until he arrived. They came in droves and I thought it'd never end. Why couldn't we get the slow as hell zombies like in Resident Evil? No, we had to deal with 28 Days Later bullshit!

Good news? We made it to the chopper. Bad news? The pilot was infected and I had to put a bullet in his head. Not a pretty sight. Our next stop was Riverside which we heard was free from infection. Worth checking out, at least.

Any hope we had of Riverside being a safe place to hide out vanished when we found an enraged lunatic at the church who rang the bell to notify the horde just so he didn't have to share his safe room with us. He was as good as dead, anyway. Our next goal was to escape by boat. That one ended up more of a chore than last time.

I got turned around and while trying to make it back to the group I was overwhelmed by zombies. To make matters worse there was a Tanker on my ass while trying to make it to the boat. Bill was there to help while the others was already on the boat. I thought I was going to die right there, but even though I was as slow as a snail I managed to make it. I should have died a thousand times over, and yet, somehow I'm still breathing.

When it came time for me to return the favor, it was too late. Bill was grabbed by a Smoker and the rest of us had already dropped down to the next rooftop with no way to get back up. He was lost. I never felt shittier for anything in my entire life.

Mere moments later we found another survivor who looked and sounded like Bill. He was even dressed in the same clothes and had the same name. Weird. I gave him my health pack, as if that would somehow make up for my failure of saving the last Bill.

I made the stupid ass move of shooting a Witch after hearing her cry. Not sure what I was thinking. Didn't even recognize her until I shot her and she nearly took my head off. God knows I wouldn't make it on the streets if I was alone. I can barely see anything out here. Whenever I turn at the sound of gunfire I have to look around just to see where the damn things are coming from. This flashlight isn't worth shit.

  As if I needed another reason not to get on a plane.

We managed to make it to the airport and waited for a military C-130 Hercules to pick us up. This was starting to become routine. After a while even the Tankers weren't scaring me anymore. They have become routine. Was this really the life I wanted? Just going from point A to point B shooting up zombies, stopping at safe houses, and holding out until rescue came? Not like I had much choice in the matter.

At least this time I got to fire a sub-machine gun at the horde. Not that it did much good in the end. Zombies kept coming from behind me to the left and right and the gun could only turn so far, yet for whatever stupid reason I kept firing from it. After all, it was a sub-machine gun! Didn't mean shit when that Tanker showed up. Where's the Incredible Hulk when I need him? Come out of nowhere and maul your stupid ass!

  Hm. Wouldn't make a bad poster for a movie, honestly.

As you can probably guess by now, the plane that saves us crashes and we're left on our own again. This time traveling through a forest having to follow train tracks to find our way out. Bill really shouldn't let me lead anymore. I ended up getting turned around so bad we backtracked all the way back to the safe house. Francis wasn't about to let me hear the end of that one. Oops! Sorry, Francis! I didn't mean to hit you...

Following the train tracks led us to the military base, but it was abandoned. Of course it was. Why should we expect anything to go right now? Every time we get rescued either the vehicle we're in go down or we're right back where we started. Luckily, hope wasn't completely lost. I got to a radio transmission just in time to prompt the military to send an APC our way. All we had to do was hold out.

By this point I wasn't even worried. I just kept filling these things with led until backup arrived. There never seems to be enough bullets, though. When I didn't have time to reload I'd just switch to the next weapon. When the swarm surrounds you you'll soon find just how much time reloading takes away from you.

In the end we came out on top like we always did and were escorted away by the U.S. army. Guess I should be happy our military didn't end up like the one from 28 Days Later. I'm not above shooting a man in the dick. We could finally put this nightmare behind us and find whatever peace we could get from a world torn apart. Huh? What the fuck is downloadable content?

Get it

5,234 zombies were harmed during the making of this review.